Kate Heavey

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, just off the A281 in-between Guildford and Horsham. I offer face to face, online and teletherapy.

**Update 11 April 2024** -

Online / telephone appointments - currently full.

Whether here as an individual or couple, you did not start off in life feeling you would need counselling.  It takes courage and vulnerability to reach out and say 'hands up I need support’.  

My areas of passion are:

• Relationships
• Alcohol dependency
• Loss/bereavement
• Attachment (childhood) trauma

Additionally offering counselling with symptoms such as anxiety, low confidence, shame, not feeling good enough, stuckness, life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, despair, anger expression, etc. 

What is true is that we are all born in relationship and have basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc.  As children we are very clever and we morph to fit our family of origin and whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love back then, it often plays havoc in relationships in later life when these adaptions/defences do not work with others. Sound familiar?

If so, along life's journey you may have had to suppress your feelings and use logic instead, which works for a while. Eventually, this learnt behaviour, and coping strategies, starts to cause inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you feel like this, you will leak out and show 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms, invariably, that have you here as you are in a level of pain and discomfort.

Please know what is learnt can be unlearnt, if you want to. 

In counselling we work together to look at how your learnt way of living is impacting you today, and the relationships you are in.

We find ways to aid you living more authentically for you to feel fulfilled, contented and satisfied. In a nutshell we look to 'empty your backpack'.

Face-to-face counselling is offered from my 'office in the garden'.  This is a roomy south-facing conservatory. The benefit of the conservatory is that it looks out onto the garden, where there is the sound of running water, which provides a calming and therapeutic setting.

Driveway parking is available.

(If you have cat allergies, please take precautions).

Walk and Talk Therapy is offered from a local location.

Online and Telephone Counselling is available.  I have been working online, and via the telephone, since 2014 and I have vast experience in this way of working (originally Skype, now Zoom).

Relationship Counselling

In relationship counselling we look at how your learnt behaviour, and wounding to date, is interfering with connection in your relationship(s). This ‘interference’ can show up in the shape of communication issues, squabbling, affairs / infidelity, stuckness, resentment, loneliness, etc. 

Every relationship is co-created and each of you brings your ‘back story’ of learnt behaviours and how you navigate differences which also includes trauma reactions, i.e., fight (hostility), flight (flee), freeze (withdraw), friend/flop (compliance) or fawn (appease).  All of these patterns are looked at.  

If you want support, do reach out and you do not have to live in this disconnected way with your learnt behaviour playing havoc on your intimate relationships.

(you can click on the website link on this page to find out more about my specific areas of work).

If this sounds like the therapy you are after, whether as an individual, couple, or two, do get in contact so I can support you on your journey.

If you are a counselling student, please contact me as it would be great to be on your journey of discovery with you; my modality is Integrative Petruska Clarkson 5 Relational.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, just off the A281 in-between Guildford and Horsham. I offer face to face, online and teletherapy.

**Update 11 April 2024** -

Face to face appointments - currently full

Online / telephone appointments - currently full.

Whether here as an individual or couple, you did not start off in life feeling you would need counselling.  It takes courage and vulnerability to reach out and say 'hands up I need support’.  

My areas of passion are:

• Relationships
• Alcohol dependency
• Loss/bereavement
• Attachment (childhood) trauma

Additionally offering counselling with symptoms such as anxiety, low confidence, shame, not feeling good enough, stuckness, life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, despair, anger expression, etc. 

What is true is that we are all born in relationship and have basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc.  As children we are very clever and we morph to fit our family of origin and whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love back then, it often plays havoc in relationships in later life when these adaptions/defences do not work with others. Sound familiar?

If so, along life's journey you may have had to suppress your feelings and use logic instead, which works for a while. Eventually, this learnt behaviour, and coping strategies, starts to cause inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you feel like this, you will leak out and show 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms, invariably, that have you here as you are in a level of pain and discomfort.

Please know what is learnt can be unlearnt, if you want to. 

In counselling we work together to look at how your learnt way of living is impacting you today, and the relationships you are in.

We find ways to aid you living more authentically for you to feel fulfilled, contented and satisfied. In a nutshell we look to 'empty your backpack'.

Face-to-face counselling is offered from my 'office in the garden'.  This is a roomy south-facing conservatory. The benefit of the conservatory is that it looks out onto the garden, where there is the sound of running water, which provides a calming and therapeutic setting.

Driveway parking is available.

(If you have cat allergies, please take precautions).

Walk and Talk Therapy is offered from a local location.

Online and Telephone Counselling is available.  I have been working online, and via the telephone, since 2014 and I have vast experience in this way of working (originally Skype, now Zoom).

Relationship Counselling

In relationship counselling we look at how your learnt behaviour, and wounding to date, is interfering with connection in your relationship(s). This ‘interference’ can show up in the shape of communication issues, squabbling, affairs / infidelity, stuckness, resentment, loneliness, etc. 

Every relationship is co-created and each of you brings your ‘back story’ of learnt behaviours and how you navigate differences which also includes trauma reactions, i.e., fight (hostility), flight (flee), freeze (withdraw), friend/flop (compliance) or fawn (appease).  All of these patterns are looked at.  

If you want support, do reach out and you do not have to live in this disconnected way with your learnt behaviour playing havoc on your intimate relationships.

(you can click on the website link on this page to find out more about my specific areas of work).

If this sounds like the therapy you are after, whether as an individual, couple, or two, do get in contact so I can support you on your journey.

If you are a counselling student, please contact me as it would be great to be on your journey of discovery with you; my modality is Integrative Petruska Clarkson 5 Relational.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, just off the A281 in-between Guildford and Horsham. I offer face to face, online and teletherapy.

**Update 11 April 2024** -

Face to face appointments - currently full

Online / telephone appointments - currently full.

Whether here an individual, couple or two, you are being impacted by your life experiences and you want relief from your pain and discomfort.

Relationships, loss / bereavement, alcohol dependency and childhood attachment issues, including mother wounds, are my areas of passion.

As humans we are all born in relationship with basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc., and, as children we cleverly morph to fit our family of origin. Whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love, later on in life relationships can become painful.

When these early adaptions/defences no longer work, there may be more defences and coping strategies adopted to self-protect which then causes more inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, isolation, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you experience these unpleasant feelings, you will leak out and show 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms that have you here seeking relief. Your learnt behaviour may mean you no longer are connected with those around you, and maybe don’t recognise yourself!

There is a way back!

Whether as an individual, couple or two, together we will assist you in understanding and unlearning some of your defences. We will process your emotions. We will give you more wholesome relational skills. We will unload the baggage you are carrying. We will do all of this to help you lead a more content and peaceful life within yourself, and within your relationships.

Sound too good to be true? 

Contact me to find out how, together, we can 'empty your backpack'.

Face-to-face counselling is offered from my 'office in the garden'.  This is a roomy south-facing conservatory. The benefit of the conservatory is that it looks out onto the garden, where there is the sound of running water, which provides a calming and therapeutic setting.

Driveway parking is available.

(If you have cat allergies, please take precautions).

Walk and Talk Therapy is offered from a local location.

Online and Telephone Counselling is available.  I have been working online, and via the telephone, since 2014 and I have vast experience in this way of working (originally Skype, now Zoom).

Relationship, Marriage Guidance and Two Counselling

In relationship counselling we look at how your learnt behaviour is interfering with connection in your relationship(s). This ‘interference’ can show up in the shape of communication issues, squabbling, affairs / infidelity, stuckness, resentment, loneliness, sadness, etc. 

Every relationship is co-created and each of you brings your ‘back story’ of learnt behaviours and how you navigate differences which includes your trauma reactions, i.e., fight (hostility), flight (flee), freeze (withdraw), friend/flop (compliance) or fawn (appease).  In our work together, your learnt patterns are looked at as we move you to healthier ways of relating. 

Counselling Students

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, just off the A281 in-between Guildford and Horsham. I offer face to face, online and teletherapy.

**Update 11 April 2024** -

Face to face appointments - currently full

Online / telephone appointments - currently full.

Whether here as an individual or couple, you did not start off in life feeling you would need counselling.  It takes courage and vulnerability to reach out and say 'hands up I need support’.  

My areas of passion are:

• Relationships
• Alcohol dependency
• Loss/bereavement
• Attachment (childhood) trauma

Additionally offering counselling with symptoms such as anxiety, low confidence, shame, not feeling good enough, stuckness, life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, despair, anger expression, etc. 

What is true is that we are all born in relationship and have basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc.  As children we are very clever and we morph to fit our family of origin and whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love back then, it often plays havoc in relationships in later life when these adaptions/defences do not work with others. Sound familiar?

If so, along life's journey you may have had to suppress your feelings and use logic instead, which works for a while. Eventually, this learnt behaviour, and coping strategies, starts to cause inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you feel like this, you will leak out and show 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms, invariably, that have you here as you are in a level of pain and discomfort.

Please know what is learnt can be unlearnt, if you want to. 

In counselling we work together to look at how your learnt way of living is impacting you today, and the relationships you are in.

We find ways to aid you living more authentically for you to feel fulfilled, contented and satisfied. In a nutshell we look to 'empty your backpack'.

Face-to-face counselling is offered from my 'office in the garden'.  This is a roomy south-facing conservatory. The benefit of the conservatory is that it looks out onto the garden, where there is the sound of running water, which provides a calming and therapeutic setting.

Driveway parking is available.

(If you have cat allergies, please take precautions).

Walk and Talk Therapy is offered from a local location.

Online and Telephone Counselling is available.  I have been working online, and via the telephone, since 2014 and I have vast experience in this way of working (originally Skype, now Zoom).

Relationship Counselling

In relationship counselling we look at how your learnt behaviour, and wounding to date, is interfering with connection in your relationship(s). This ‘interference’ can show up in the shape of communication issues, squabbling, affairs / infidelity, stuckness, resentment, loneliness, etc. 

Every relationship is co-created and each of you brings your ‘back story’ of learnt behaviours and how you navigate differences which also includes trauma reactions, i.e., fight (hostility), flight (flee), freeze (withdraw), friend/flop (compliance) or fawn (appease).  All of these patterns are looked at.  

If you want support, do reach out and you do not have to live in this disconnected way with your learnt behaviour playing havoc on your intimate relationships.

(you can click on the website link on this page to find out more about my specific areas of work).

If this sounds like the therapy you are after, whether as an individual, couple, or two, do get in contact so I can support you on your journey.

If you are a counselling student, please contact me as it would be great to be on your journey of discovery with you; my modality is Integrative Petruska Clarkson 5 Relational.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, just off the A281 in-between Guildford and Horsham. I offer face to face, online and teletherapy.

**Update 11 April 2024** -

Face to face appointments - currently full

Online / telephone appointments - currently full.

Whether here as an individual or couple, you did not start off in life feeling you would need counselling.  It takes courage and vulnerability to reach out and say 'hands up I need support’.  

My areas of passion are:

• Relationships
• Alcohol dependency
• Loss/bereavement
• Attachment (childhood) trauma

Additionally offering counselling with symptoms such as anxiety, low confidence, shame, not feeling good enough, stuckness, life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, despair, anger expression, etc. 

What is true is that we are all born in relationship and have basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc.  As children we are very clever and we morph to fit our family of origin and whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love back then, it often plays havoc in relationships in later life when these adaptions/defences do not work with others. Sound familiar?

If so, along life's journey you may have had to suppress your feelings and use logic instead, which works for a while. Eventually, this learnt behaviour, and coping strategies, starts to cause inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you feel like this, you will leak out and show 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms, invariably, that have you here as you are in a level of pain and discomfort.

Please know what is learnt can be unlearnt, if you want to. 

In counselling we work together to look at how your learnt way of living is impacting you today, and the relationships you are in.

We find ways to aid you living more authentically for you to feel fulfilled, contented and satisfied. In a nutshell we look to 'empty your backpack'.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.