The Parenting Grind: New campaign tackles the emotional reality of becoming a parent
News from BACP

Parents are nearly twice as likely to feel unprepared for the emotional transition into parenthood (39%) than the practical side (21%), according to our new survey¹.

The study of more than 2,000 parents with children under the age of three points to a ‘parenthood preparation gap’ – a significant lack of emotional support for new parents compared with the practical advice and guidance available.

Almost nine in 10 new parents (88%) say they have found it harder to manage their mental health since having a baby.

On top of this, just under three quarters felt overwhelmed by the emotional reality of becoming parents (71%) and almost half said they no longer recognised themselves (47%).

The Parenting Grind

We’ve launched The Parenting Grind, a campaign encouraging new parents to consider therapy as a way of navigating the emotional challenges of becoming a parent.

The campaign will meet parents where they already are – on buggy walks with a hot or cold drink in hand – sharing unfiltered stories from people who’ve been helped by therapy, alongside information about how professional support from BACP members can help.

Every cup includes a quote on it from a parent about how therapy has helped them. 

The Parenting Grind coffee van has visited outdoor spaces in Brighton (August 12), London (August 13), Glasgow (August 17) and Manchester (August 18).

The campaign is part of our wider public education and awareness work around therapy, our members, and BACP.

We've shared the survey and content with journalists and media outlets, through social media and digital advertising, and created a dedicated campaign microsite.

The campaign has so far featured on ITV's Good Morning Britain, in the iPaper, and on BBC and commercial local radio stations across the UK.

Campaign aims 

The campaign aims to normalise conversations about the emotional impact of parenthood and challenge the idea that struggling means you’re failing as a parent.

It encourages new parents to seek support when they need it, rather than feeling they have to cope alone.

It also explains how counselling and psychotherapy can provide a safe, confidential space to explore difficult feelings and why it’s important to choose a therapist who’s listed on a Professional Standards Authority-accredited register – such as BACP’s.

Campaign data

Our survey highlighted the emotional challenges of becoming a parent and the barriers that can stop new parents from seeking support:

• Two in five new parents (46%) have considered mental health support after welcoming a baby, but a quarter (27%) of those didn’t access it for fear of appearing unable to cope.

The survey also reflected the particular pressures facing new dads:

• Over two thirds (67%) often hide how they are feeling because they believe they need to remain strong for their family.
  
  
• Almost half (48%) feel they should deal with their mental health issues alone, while a similar number (49%) feel their struggles aren’t valid compared with their partners.

The Parenting Grind website features personal stories of parents who’ve had therapy, information about how to access therapy,  and links to our Therapist Directory.

Visit www.parenting-grind.co.uk

Caitlin Renner, parent to one

“In the first few months after becoming a parent, I began to feel overwhelmed, isolated and unable to plan ahead. Therapy helped me identify my triggers and gave me a shared language to explain to my husband how I was feeling and how he could support me. It provided a safe, judgement-free space where I could speak openly without censoring myself. The sessions helped me move from surviving each day to thriving again, and gave me tools I can return to whenever I need support.”

Kate Silverton, Sunday Times bestselling parenting author, broadcaster and BACP registered therapist, says:

“As a society, we place a lot of emphasis on the practical preparations for becoming a new parent, with so much information available about the birth, what buggy to buy, feeding and sleeping. But there’s generally much less focus on the emotional changes — and challenges — that becoming a parent can bring.

“It’s one of the biggest life transitions we will ever experience. Parenthood can bring enormous joy and love, but it can also leave us exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious and feeling very unlike ourselves.

“As a mother myself, and as a therapist, I want parents to know that struggling does not mean we are failing. There is no such thing as perfect when it comes to parenting — and, crucially, our children don’t need us to be.

“Understanding our own triggers and what is happening for us emotionally — and getting support when we need it — can be one of the greatest gifts we give ourselves and our children.

“Therapy offers a safe, confidential space to make sense of what we are feeling rather than simply pushing through it. If you do seek therapy, it’s important to choose someone who is appropriately trained and registered with a professional body accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, such as BACP.”