Paul Lipman

I offer both In person and sessions by video link.  I offer morning, afternoon and evening sessions. Also on Saturday mornings. 

Couples £120/140 / 75 minutes

Free initial 75 min meeting. 

Welcome — I’m Paul.

I’ve worked with couples and relationships for over 15 years. Change begins in the room as you learn to step out of the invisible patterns that have kept you stuck — sometimes for years.

Many couples come to me exhausted by the same conversations that go nowhere — arguments that escalate, silence that creates distance, emotional disconnection, or feeling more like flatmates than partners.

What most couples don’t realise is that the issue is rarely just the issue itself.

The patterns that stop couples solving their difficulties are often invisible to them. One person pushes forward, the other withdraws. Conversations become reactive rather than conscious, and the same cycle repeats despite both people wanting things to change.

These patterns often formed long ago and tend to emerge most strongly in close relationships, especially when something emotionally important is happening.

That’s why couples can love each other, genuinely want things to improve, and still end up back in the same place again and again.

It is very difficult to change your relationship while you are still inside the pattern shaping it.

That is what I bring — the ability to see what is happening between you, slow it down, and work directly with the cycle itself so change can begin happening between you in real time.

Because of how I work, change does not simply get talked about — couples begin relating differently, communicating more clearly, and understanding how to respond to one another in ways that genuinely help.

How long you have struggled does not prevent change.

I also understand how difficult it can be to ask for help and talk about something so personal. When I needed support myself, I felt unsure and embarrassed too. That experience shapes how I work. I work with care, sensitivity, and respect throughout, and we do this work together.

I work from Caterham . Caterham is 300m from The High Street and station and 2m from Jct 6 M25. My clients are of all ages and couples even in the late 60s arrive and are helped. 

While I specialise in working with relationships I also have significant prior experience of helping individuals with Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, low self esteem, OCD and UEPD. 

My Specialties:

- Relationship Dynamics and Communication. 

- Repeating Patterns in relationships. 

- Attachment styles and insecurity 

- Personality and Relational Development 

- Conflict Resolution and Healthy Boundaries 

- Emotional Regulation and Self Awareness

- Building Trust and Intimacy 

- Anxiety and anger in Relationships. 

- TraumA and PTSD in Relationships 

- Neurodiversity in Relationships

FREE INITIAL MEETING: An initial session is an informal meeting and opportunity for you to tell me about what is troubling you and what changes you are hoping to make - Also for me to explain how I work and can help and after which in your own time you can decide if having counselling is right for you. Free of charge and typically 75 mins.