Sarah Swain

I'm Sarah Swain, a BACP accredited integrative therapist, trained in EMDR and coaching. I work online with adults across the UK, with a focus on estrangement.

I have over 15 years of experience across the NHS, charities and Employee Assistance Programmes.

I work with people who might notice that a relationship has changed shape: distance that wasn't planned, a decision to step back that hasn't settled, or a loss with no clear ending. Often they can't fully explain what's changed. They just know that how they've always coped isn't working in the same way anymore.

My own experience of estrangement, from more than one side, shapes how I work but not what I tell people to do. I don't take sides and I don't push toward reconciliation or distance. My role is to help you understand what you're carrying and work out what you want for yourself now.

I work with warmth and presence, and I'll gently challenge the patterns that keep you stuck. My work is grounded in compassion, curiosity and respect for your autonomy.

Using Private Medical Insurance?

I am an approved provider with major UK insurers, including Bupa, Axa Health, Aviva, Vitality.

If you would like to fund your therapy through your insurance policy, please contact your insurer prior to our initial consultation to confirm your mental health coverage and obtain your membership number and authorisation code.

People come to therapy at different stages of estrangement

You might be:

• questioning whether going no contact is or was the right decision
• missing someone you no longer have contact with
• struggling with guilt or shame
• grieving a relationship with someone who is still alive
• replaying conversations and wondering what you could have done differently
• struggling with family occasions, milestones or changes in your life
• questioning whether reconciliation is possible
• unsure whether reconciliation is something you actually want
• trying to understand how the estrangement has affected your identity or other relationships
• tired of thinking about it and wanting it to take up less emotional space in your life

What therapy can help with

None of this needs sorting out first. Our work might involve making sense of what happened, processing difficult experiences, understanding relationship patterns, working through difficult emotions, or exploring what you want your life and relationships to look like now.

There isn't a required outcome. Those questions don't have to be resolved before we start. You can bring them in unanswered.

• Reconciliation may be something you want to explore. It may not be.
• You may want to maintain distance but feel less consumed by what happened.
• You may want to understand your own part in the relationship without taking on all the blame.
• Or you may simply want somewhere to speak honestly without managing how it affects anyone else.

How I work

I work integratively, adapting the therapy to you rather than applying one particular model to every situation.

We begin by understanding what's happening for you now and what you want from therapy. Where distressing experiences or memories are still affecting you in the present, EMDR may form part of that work.

The aim isn't to tell you what you should do about the relationship. It's to help you understand yourself, process what happened and make choices that feel more like your own.