Des Tatler

Relational and Attachment-Based Therapy

I hope this page gives you a sense of who I am and how I work.

I am an attachment-based therapist and Accredited Member of the BACP, working with adults experiencing relational difficulties, grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, low mood, self-esteem struggles, and life transitions.

The impact of our relationships and life experiences can stay with us long after those experiences have passed.

If you’re feeling burnt out, shut down, overwhelmed, or caught in the same painful cycles with others (or with yourself), you’re not alone. These experiences can show up in intimate relationships, family dynamics, friendships, or at work. Beneath most struggles sits a longing – to be met, understood, valued, or allowed to be fully yourself.

I work from an attachment-based approach rooted in the belief that what is wounded in relationship can be repaired in relationship. So much of what we experience – anxiety, low mood, loneliness, conflict, self-doubt – is shaped by earlier relational experiences and the ways we learned to cope, protect ourselves, and survive emotionally. These patterns can continue long after they stop serving us. Together, we explore them with compassion and curiosity – not to blame the past, but to free you in the present.

Grief is also a significant part of the work I do. Sometimes this grief is easy to recognise, and sometimes it sits more quietly beneath low mood, disconnection, or a sense that something in life no longer fits. This may relate to the loss of someone important, but also to the quieter losses that shape us over time – childhood experiences, family breakdown, estrangement, unmet emotional needs, relationship endings, dislocation, or major life transitions. In therapy, we make space for both – the grief you can name, and the grief you’ve been carrying silently for years.

My style is warm, steady, and genuinely relational. I pay close attention to the ways you’ve learned to navigate the world by shutting down, accommodating others, striving, withdrawing, or staying strong for too long. We explore the emotional logic behind these responses with compassion for why they formed. Our work unfolds at a pace that feels right for you, while gently making space for the discomfort that meaningful change can involve.

In our work, we explore:

• relational patterns and the needs beneath them
• how past experiences echo through present-day feelings
• how familiar patterns and ruptures show up, and how repair can happen within them
• strengthening boundaries, self-worth, and emotional clarity 
• meeting the parts of you that feel unseen, overwhelmed, or “too much”

My background in yoga and contemplative practice helps me bring a calm, grounded presence to sessions. I’m also guided by the natural world – its rhythms, resilience, and interconnectedness – which influences how I hold the work, even when this remains unspoken.

If this way of working speaks to you, I invite you to get in touch.

I also welcome therapists in training who are seeking their own therapy, particularly those interested in experiencing attachment-based work from the inside.