Andrew Tobert

My working hours are 3pm to 8pm, Monday to Wednesday and 8am to 2pm on Thursday

I work with people who struggle to say no. 

At work

Perhaps you take on too much at work, or maybe accept full responsibility for a collective failure. You can say yes to your boss, but you cannot say yes to yourself. 

In relationship

 You always try to be there for your partner, but you don't always feel held in the same way. Your sadness or upset is met with a guilt trip or anger. Sometimes, something worse. Over time, you have learned to make yourself smaller. Maybe you are starting to disappear. 

With addictions

Maybe it's a substance or behaviour that you cannot say no to.  At least, not always. You can keep it together when you're at work, perhaps with your kids too. But when you're by yourself, the wheels start coming off. You can stay sober for everyone else's benefit , just not your own. 

As a child

Or, maybe you cannot say no because you just were not allowed to. You grew up in an environment that didn't allow you to be a child.  You had to look after yourself, siblings, maybe even your parent. You hide the part of you that was a child, just wanting to play. You had to take on adult responsibility too soon.

Or maybe you hid because it wasn't safe. You grew up queer and you knew that showing up fully would be dangerous. So  you hid a part of yourself. You go so used to wearing a mask that now, you might not be sure how to take it off.

If you've ever had to make yourself invisible, I think we'll work well together. We can explore what it's like to take up space and be seen. 

I know what it's like to make yourself small and to hide the parts of yourself that feel wrong, selfish or shameful. I also know what it is like to quiet those voices, and let yourself breathe. I hope you can experience more of that. 

I work weekly, usually in person, and each week, you will share more of what is going on in your life. And I'll be there with you. Over time, our work will deepen.  You will have the experience of showing up, being heard and feeling seen. That is an experience you can take with you. It is an experience that can change your life. 

And it all begins with a phone call. This is a free, 15 minute call and you can ask any questions about how the process works. 

Therapy takes guts. I'm ready when you are.