Rasa Indicianskaite

I currently have availibility Thursdays 8am–2pm.

I work with queer and neurodivergent people who are tired of performing perfect. Not because you're broken, but because somewhere along the way you learned that being flawless was the price of being accepted and safe, and for so long it may not have been possible to put that down.

You probably spent years being the one who has it together, or attempting to seem that way. The one who shows up, delivers, performs, the one who is always busy with something. From the outside it looks put together and effortless. On the inside, you're exhausted, quietly convinced that if you stop moving for even a day and trying to improve everything about yourself, someone will notice you were never as put-together as you seemed, and you will be rejected by everyone.

Waking up already feels like falling behind. You say yes when you mean no. You've gotten so good at performing "fine" that you're not always sure which parts of you are real, and which parts you built because they felt safer to show. Underneath it is one exhausting question you don't say out loud: what if they find out I'm not as perfect as I've made myself look? What if I will never be good enough?

That question doesn't resolve itself. And it doesn't get solved by trying harder — you've already tried that.

As a recovering perfectionist, I know this feeling all too well. What I offer is not piles and piles of homework and worksheets that will add to your list of never-ending tasks. This isn't going to be another box to tick, or someone trying to catch you out being less than perfect. Somewhere under all the holding-it-together, I think you long to ask for help without it meaning you failed. Needing help doesn't make you weak, it makes you human.

I offer a space for "I don't know" and imperfection. Playing around with trying to do things just a little bit imperfectly. To actually find out what you want, not just what fulfills the expectations of others. Where rest doesn't have to be earned first. Where you can say no without rehearsing the apology, and be uncertain, unfinished, and still enough.

Choosing a counsellor can be difficult as there is so many of us! 

To help you decide whether I am the right fit for you I offer a free 30 minute informal conversation to discuss your needs and how I could support you. 

I offer lower rates for those on low incomes, benefits, or students — please let me know if you need that.