Miles Willey

I have some availability during the day on Tuesdays, as well as early evening sessions on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

Therapy works best when it feels safe enough to be honest. Asking for help can be difficult, and sometimes it takes a lot to make that first contact. I believe it is worth it.

You might be here because something has happened: a relationship has ended, someone has died, you are facing a major change, or life has taken a direction you didn't expect.

Or perhaps nothing has happened that seems big enough to explain how you feel. You may just be struggling, feeling anxious, low, angry or stuck. You may find yourself having relationship issues, being hard on yourself, or wondering why you can't seem to move on.

I work in an integrative way, drawing on psychodynamic and relational approaches. This means that I am interested in all of you: what is happening in your life now, but also in how you got here. Not so that we can blame the past, or explain everything away, but because understanding our past can give us more choice about what we do with it.

I will work to give you somewhere to stop, to slow down and look at these things together. We can think about what is happening now, but also about where some of it may have come from. You might not arrive knowing exactly what you need or even being able to explain what is wrong. We can begin with whatever feels most important to you, and work from there.

My hope is that therapy can help you feel more able to understand yourself, make sense of what has happened to you, and make choices about how you want to live.

Starting therapy can bring up strong emotions and feel uncomfortable – working relationally means that I might feel this too, but it will help me to understand what you need and what might help.

For me, therapy is a particular kind of conversation. It is time set aside each week where you can talk about what is really going on without having to worry about how it will affect someone else, or about getting the words exactly right. We will talk, and I will pay attention not only to what you say, but also to what might be underneath it.

I will listen carefully, but I won't simply sit quietly and agree with everything you say. Where it seems useful, I will ask questions, offer observations and tell you what I think. Sometimes I will get things wrong, and we can talk about that too. For me, the stuff that happens between you and I – the relationship – is part of the work.

Much of my work is with adults who are affected by difficult relationships with their parents, who may have been absent, critical, unpredictable or abusive – or simply unable to give what was needed. This often shows up through loss, bereavement and the gap between what we hoped life would be and what it has actually become. This gap can leave us feeling that we have failed, that something is wrong with us, or that we have somehow ended up living a life that doesn't quite feel like our own.

I am a trained Integrative Psychotherapist with an MSc in Therapeutic Counselling & Psychotherapy. I also have a BA Humanities (Philosophy/Literature) and before training as a Psychotherapist I worked within the University sector, including mental health and wellbeing services. I have a professional association with the bereavement service at St Michael’s Hospice (St. Leonards-On-Sea) in running therapy groups and seeing 1:1 clients. 

Starting therapy can feel like the hardest part.

I offer a free 20-minute telephone or video conversation before you decide whether to book a full session. There is no obligation to continue.

The call is an opportunity to talk about what has brought you to therapy, ask any questions you have and, importantly, get a sense of me. Finding someone you feel safe with matters, and it is just as important that you feel comfortable with me as it is that I think I can help you.

After this initial session, if you would like to work with me, then we can decide on a way forward, you will be sent some paperwork including a contract and some personal details forms, and we will book in your first session. I offer long-term and short-term therapy, but in general I suggest a minimum commitment of 8 sessions.

If you are wondering whether we could work together, the first step is simply a conversation. Please get in touch to arrange a free 20-minute call.

I offer online sessions and face-to-face in Hastings.