A counsellor has been inspired to launch a support group for people who are mourning the loss of their mothers after the death of her own mum.

Susi De Lacey’s mum, Denise, died four years ago from myeloma, a form of cancer.

Susi, who has worked in mental health for more than 10 years, ran various support groups and later worked as a bereavement counsellor within the NHS.

She said her mum’s death, at 76, had a “profound effect” on her.

She was unable to take any time off work, but withdrew from her counselling training after her mum died. Two years later, when she returned to counselling, she began to think more about how she could help other people going through similar bereavements.

As she approached the fourth anniversary of her mother’s death, having noticed several clients also affected by the death of their mothers, Susi launched Missing Our Mums on Mothering Sunday.

Susi said: “More and more I’ve come to see the profound effect that losing my mother has had on me. Your mum’s death can leave a huge void in your life – it’s important to know you’re not alone.”

“Sometimes it is just something like going to pick up the phone to your mum, and then having the realisation that she’s not there anymore. Other times, if you are the eldest or the only daughter, it may be you feel your siblings are now your responsibility, even though they maybe adults too.

 “I really hope this group will be beneficial to people. There will be a lot of shared experiences, memories, thoughts and feelings. People will be able to cry, laugh and vent about how they feel. It will be a powerful, safe, supportive space.

“I will be saying very little about my own experience. This is the clients’ space – it’s not about me and my grief.”

 

Denise and Susi

Denise and Susi.

Susi says it takes courage for people to take that big step and have the confidence to come to the sessions.

“We will be focusing on developing their connection to others; feeling they are capable of coping without their mum, and that they still matter. The aim is to help people feel stronger and able to move forward into the future.”

“They will gradually develop the insight to recognise how grief is affecting them, and start making changes to enable them to feel more positive about the future.

 “I hope it will give people the freedom to be themselves and feel they are not alone.”

An information session will be held at Life Therapy Centre in Swansea on the 17 May which would have been Denise’s 80th birthday.

The sessions will take place at the same venue from June.

For further details email: office@missingourmums.co.uk

 

If you want to speak to a counsellor or psychotherapist about bereavement visit our Therapist Directory.