How to spot signs of stress in men
News from BACP

Stress is the most common reason men seek therapy for the first time, according to our 2025 Public Perceptions Survey¹.

More than half of men (57%) who had their first therapy session in the past two years did so because of stress, our survey found.

Anxiety came a close second (56%) and depression (50%) was the third most common reason men sought therapy for help.

Of those men who’ve had therapy for stress, more than eight in 10 (84%) said the experience was helpful.

We’ve released the figures for this year’s Men’s Health Week.

“Men experience stress in unique ways with common causes including societal pressure to fulfil certain roles and the tendency to overidentify with their careers, financial success and status,” says therapist Ayo Ayeside.

How to spot signs of stress in men

“Stress doesn’t always show up as a panic attack or sleepless nights,” explains psychotherapist Matt Wooton.

“For many men, it’s a shorter fuse with their partner or kids, drinking more than usual, sleeping less, or feeling irritable at work. These are early warning signs. You don’t have to white-knuckle through them.”

Therapist Graham Johnston agrees: "The men I work with in therapy might recognise they're stressed at work and at home, but they often struggle to acknowledge that the intensity of their lives is leading to burnout, anxiety and depression.

“Secondary impacts of stress - drinking too much, arguing with their spouses, sleeping terribly - are often what bring them to my door.

Ayo says that in her experience stress sometime masks long-standing mental health issues that men don’t have the language for.

“Some things to look out for, although this is not an exhaustive list, include increased irritability and anger, feeling overwhelmed or confused, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, feelings of worthlessness and a diminished interest in sex.

“Physically, stress may manifest as low energy, sleep issues, headaches, muscle ache/pain particularly in the chest area, shortness of breath and digestion issues.

“Behavioural changes include alcohol/drug misuse, social withdrawal and reduced interest in activities, eating too much or too little, procrastination or a general neglect of responsibilities,” she adds.

What can help men with stress

Acknowledge and accept how they feel

“It helps to first acknowledge and accept how they feel,” says Ayo. “This can be done alone, of course, but working with a therapist may make this easier whilst helping to understand where some of these coping mechanisms come from.

“They need space to redefine the societal norms and pressures that cause stress.

Conversely, depression and anxiety could themselves be symptoms of stress along with a host of other mental, physical and behavioural symptoms.”

Be realistic about their lives

"We need to be careful not to sound too preachy when it comes to helping men manage stress. I work with men who like working long hours, get meaning through their job and enjoy a drink to unwind,” says Matt.

“Telling them to go on a yoga retreat or to get a better work/life balance can be heard as patronising and unrealistic.”

Find ways to handle stress that align with their personalities

“Help them identify ways to handle stress that align with their personalities and values,” Matt advises. “This could be an exercise-related or making sure they're hanging out with their good friends more often.

“It can be hard if they're leading busy lives. So, the best way forward is often for them to look at things they can subtract rather than things they need to add.”

Therapy can help

“Therapy isn’t weak or self-indulgent—it’s about being honest and taking responsibility,” says Matt. “If you already take responsibility for your work, your family, and your finances, then do the same for your mental health. That’s what strong men do.”

“My role is often to prove early in the work that therapy can be helpful - in their relationships, in their communication, in their work,” says Graham.

“That doesn't have to involve opening-up too much or being too vulnerable. We might get there; we might not. What's important to me is whether they get the support and help they need."

¹ About the Public Perceptions Survey

The survey data was collected using a self-complete, online methodology. A nationally representative sample of 5,150 adults (aged 16+) was taken from YouGov’s online research panel and results were weighted to provide a nationally representative dataset. Fieldwork for the 2025 survey was conducted between the 13 February and 4 March 2025.