I guess like many of us I have been fascinated observing my responses to the corona virus pandemic. A good measure of anxiety for sure, for myself, those I love and care about and what I observe and imagine happening for many people across this country and the world who are in deeply precarious situations. At the same time pleasure spending more time with my wife, Sarah and tackling some of those jobs we have just not been getting around to doing!

Once it was clear that we were heading towards movement restrictions I quickly moved my individual work online or by phone and in some ways that has been the most straightforward aspect of the “stay at home” changes for me. The work continues with all but one client, who decided to pause, and three scheduled training workshops have been postponed. I have supervised online for many years and shifted smoothly into online client work. I have paid careful attention to how I respond to enquiries from clients and supervisees about how I am. It has felt important to acknowledge that I too am deeply affected by what is happening, whilst not dwelling on this in a way that pulls the locus of attention onto me.

I have little desire to leap into action or find a way to ‘do my bit’. I have been very impressed by (and at time envious of) some of the initiatives that I see others leading, mostly innovative online events or gatherings. I have moved my daily meditation to 9.00am to coincide with other members of my spiritual companion’s group (spread across England) and I take part in weekly family “Zoom” meetings.

Personally, I have had two strong desires; to clear out my workshop where I sculpt and turn wood and working with Sarah to prepare the garden for the coming season; it’s never looked better! Having time to sculpt and work in the garden, doing each task one step at a time, helps me to settle and listen to my heart and my guts. The sculpting also enables me to express some of the complexity of reactions I have to this unique situation with mallet, chisel and pieces of wood and stone.

I remind myself regularly that life has changed dramatically in just a few weeks and that I need to give myself the time and space to adjust, while doing what I can to help those around me to do the same, each in our own way.