Dave Ginn

I currently have availability on Wednesdays and Thursdays

Criticism, disagreement or the possibility of disappointing someone can sometimes feel much bigger than the immediate situation. You may go quiet, agree when you want to say no, avoid a difficult conversation or withdraw from the people closest to you. At other times, you may become defensive or react more strongly than you intended.

You may recognise some of this as conflict avoidance or people-pleasing, although it may happen so automatically that you only notice it afterwards.

You might appear capable and composed, yet privately spend a great deal of time overthinking conversations, worrying about other people’s reactions or putting pressure on yourself to get things right. Perfectionism can make criticism or mistakes particularly difficult to let go of. When someone is upset with you, it may become difficult to know what you think, feel or need.

Over time, repeatedly giving way or holding things in can leave you feeling resentful, misunderstood or emotionally numb. You may feel lonely or increasingly isolated from the people closest to you. The effort of keeping everything going can become exhausting, and you may find yourself becoming irritable or angry after holding too much in.

I work with adults who want to understand why this happens and respond differently. You may want to speak more honestly, set clearer boundaries, say no without feeling guilty or stay connected during disagreement without abandoning your own needs.

I work with men and women from a wide range of backgrounds. Many of my clients are professionals, managers, business owners or people carrying significant responsibility, but this is not a requirement. You may simply have reached a point where keeping quiet, managing other people’s reactions or pushing your feelings aside is costing you too much.

I offer face-to-face counselling in Shenfield, near Brentwood, and online counselling throughout the UK.

In our sessions, we look at what happens when you feel criticised, misunderstood, exposed or under pressure.

Your mind may go blank. You may lose the words, feel tension in your body, want to leave the conversation or suddenly become angry. These reactions happen quickly. By slowing the moment down, we can recognise what sets them off, what you may be protecting yourself from and what you need.

You may already understand why you avoid conflict, hold things in or put other people first. Understanding the pattern is one thing; responding differently when it is happening is another. Therapy gives us an opportunity to notice what happens before you automatically go quiet, give way, withdraw or fight back, and explore other possibilities.

My original training was in person-centred counselling, and I am undertaking advanced postgraduate training in Gestalt psychotherapy. My approach is relational and active. I pay attention to your story and to what happens emotionally and physically while you tell it. I will ask questions and tell you honestly what I notice, without pressuring you to discuss anything before you are ready.

I have completed 800+ supervised client hours across private practice, community counselling and hospice bereavement work. Before becoming a counsellor, I spent 35 years in business and finance, much of it in senior leadership. I know environments where carrying responsibility, remaining capable and continuing to perform are normal expectations. I also know how difficult it can be to admit that you are struggling, ask for support or show vulnerability.

This contributes to my interest in what happens when holding things in, trying not to get things wrong or managing other people’s reactions affects your wellbeing and relationships.

I work with anxiety, relationship and family difficulties, bereavement, low self-worth, shame, anger, loneliness, work stress, burnout, emotional disconnection and major life changes.

I offer a free 20-minute telephone consultation before you book a full session. You can tell me briefly what has brought you to counselling, ask questions and decide whether talking with me feels comfortable and useful enough to continue. There is no obligation to book.

During our first full session, we will look more closely at what is happening in your life, what you would like help with and what you hope might change.

You do not need to arrive with a clear explanation. You may know that something feels wrong without yet knowing how to describe it. You decide what to talk about, and you do not have to tell me everything in the first meeting.

I will explain confidentiality, fees, cancellations and the practical arrangements. We can also discuss whether you would prefer face-to-face sessions in Shenfield or online counselling.

Sessions last 50 minutes and usually take place weekly. The first session gives both of us an opportunity to decide whether working together feels right. If we continue, we will occasionally look at whether the sessions are helping and whether anything needs to change.