A qualified couples therapist will make you feel more supported individually and as a couple. It’s important to understand what you were like as a couple in the beginning of your relationship, before things got in the way, and a relationship therapist will help guide you safely through this. They’ll help you both re-establish yourselves as a couple and practise the skills you acquire in a safe, confidential space you feel comfortable in.
How to approach the subject with your partner
Approach the topic of therapy in a softer, warmer way, instead of it coming across as an attack. You could turn to your partner and say, “I want to find out what I can do to help this relationship”, or by leading with how you’re feeling in the relationship, emphasising yourself and the reasons behind why you feel therapy may be beneficial; this is less likely to cause a partner to become defensive.
Avoid assumptions. A lot of people assume that their partners will never commit to therapy without actually asking them. Give your partner the opportunity to say yes or no without pre-empted expectations.
Don’t pressure your partner into therapy. If it’s something they don’t want to do, listen to their reasons and respect their decision. They have to be willing to receive this external support voluntarily, otherwise it won’t work.
How to find a qualified therapist
Ensure you choose a qualified counsellor. Choosing a therapist who is registered with a professional body, such as BACP, means they’re qualified and work to set professional standards and ethics.
You can use our online directory to find a qualified therapist and you can filter to show the type of therapy you’d like, such as couples therapy, the location you’re based in and whether you’d like the therapy to be online or face to face.
Do some independent research into the therapist by searching their social media or their website and ensuring they have robust qualifications. You need to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with and who is the right fit for you both as a couple. The bond you have with your therapist sits at the core of the therapeutic process so it’s important it feels right. Be mindful that finding the right therapist can take time and it’s OK to explore different options.