BACP Governor Myira Khan has spoken about relationships, self-esteem, boundaries and the benefits of counselling on the BBC’s Asian Network radio station.

She drew on her own experience of being counsellor to explain what people go through in relationships and what influences their decisions whether to stay in a couple or split up.

She also spoke to presenter Preeya Kalidas about how counselling can help people.

The show’s theme was “when is enough, enough in a relationship?”

Myira told the show: “There’s such a huge spectrum of what people will put up with. It’s really about people’s individual standards, their self-value, their self-esteem, what their individual boundaries are. There are some people who will exit at the first sign of trouble or the moment they feel disrespected, but it goes all the way through to people who will put up with a lot of trouble and unhealthy behaviours.”

Myira Khan
BACP Governor Myira Khan

She added: “People’s self-esteem, self-value, their sense of self can absolutely be reinforced by the blue print they will have internalised and taken from their parents. Their relationships with their parents and then their parents’ relationships will be a model for how they will then have relationships in the future.

“That combination of somebody’s level of self-esteem and what they believe is a relationship, is a melting point and will influence what they will go and do.

“At the heart of that, self-esteem is going to play a massive role in what somebody would put up with in a relationship.”

Myira spent more than an hour on Monday night on the show, talking to Preeya and callers to the show.

Listen to the show on BBC Sounds.

Find a BACP counsellor or psychotherapist via the BACP’s Therapist Directory.