Chrissy Teigen’s decision to publicly share her heartbreak after losing her baby could help other parents come to terms with miscarriage, says our member Sarah Wheatley.
Sarah says miscarriage happens in one in four pregnancies but, despite this shocking statistic, people rarely talk about it.
“This can increase the sense of isolation that many parents can feel, when they’re possibly already feeling a huge sense of loss,” Sarah explained.
Model and TV personality Teigen and her husband, the singer and songwriter John Legend, revealed their pregnancy loss on social media, in which they spoke of their “deep pain”.
Pain and loss
Sarah said: “Chrissy and John Teigen have brought a very public human face to an experience that so often can be treated as a private ‘medical procedure’.
“They’ve not allowed their pain and loss to be trivialised or dismissed.”
Sarah said that couples react differently, and that Teigen’s decision to show her emotions so publicly could help the hundreds of women who experience pregnancy loss every day to talk more openly about it.
“For some they’re grieving the loss of a person, for others the loss of a dream or a relationship,” said Sarah, who runs Birth and Beyond, based in Edinburgh.
“It can be a loss of control or feeling safe. It can be a sense of loss of trust in your body or a loss of dignity.
“It might also feel like the loss of an ability to relate to other people who are enjoying healthy pregnancies or having babies.
“There can be a lot of reasons why people don’t talk about their miscarriage, such as because they don’t want to upset other people or, they want to avoid the possible feelings that might occur if others trivialise or dismiss their experience.
“Another reason people sometimes don’t talk about miscarriage is because they feel a sense of shame.
“Often parents can wonder if there is something they did wrong or that they ‘didn’t want the baby enough’.
“As well as the sense of loss and isolation, experiencing a miscarriage can lead to people feeling lots of other unwelcome feelings such a jealousy, hypervigilance, negative self-identity and unfairness.”
How can counselling help pregnancy loss?
Sarah said that counselling can help women and couples find a way through the grief.
“Counselling can help people feel able to express feelings that they feel might damage other relationships to talk about,” she said.
“It can also help reduce the sense of isolation by helping people find a way to talk about their experience in a way that feels okay for them.”
If you want to speak to a BACP counsellor or psychotherapist about pregnancy-related issues, visit our Therapist Directory.
Next week is Baby Loss Awareness Week. There’s a dedicated Baby Loss Awareness Week website to help people find out more about baby loss including miscarriage and where to get support.
Read our members' experiences and your stories of how counselling can help you through pregnancy, miscarriage and being a new parent.
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