Depression is the leading reason men seek therapy for the first time, according to new findings from our 2026 Public Perceptions Survey1.

We found the proportion of men seeking therapy for the first time because of depression increased from half (50%) in 2025 to nearly two thirds (62%) this year.

Once accessed, nearly eight in ten men (79%) who had therapy for depression say they would recommend it.

More men are seeking help, yet depression does not always look the way people might expect. Some men talk openly about feeling low, whereas others show distress through changes in behaviour, mood or relationships.

Our members have shared some of the signs to look out for and explain how friends, family and therapists can offer support.

Increased irritability or anger

Depression can sometimes show up as frustration, anger or irritability rather than sadness says psychotherapist and couples counsellor Hilda Burke:

“Many men, when stressed, go into 'fight' or 'flight' mode. The fight will manifest as irritability or anger, whereas the 'flight' can be seen in isolation or lack of emotional availability. It could either be a sign of depression or stress or indeed both.”

Stefan Walters, couples and family therapist, agrees:

“Increased irritability or anger can be one of several warning signs that someone may be struggling.”

Withdrawing from friends and family

Counsellor Rahi Popat says that social withdrawal is another common sign that someone’s finding it difficult to cope:

“One of the key signs that people should keep an eye on when it comes to male depression is the increased tendency to become socially withdrawn and isolate themselves from friends, family and work colleagues.”

“Often you will notice they are consistently withdrawing from making plans and will avoid committing to events, preferring to stay alone.”

Stefan agrees: “Many men will not talk about feeling low or depressed and will struggle on alone with their inner turmoil.”

Throwing themselves into work or distractions

Some men cope by staying busy rather than talking about how they feel, explains Hilda:

 “There has almost certainly historically been a difference in how boys and girls are raised. “It's perhaps a cliché, but girls traditionally will receive comforting when emotionally distressed while boys may have been shamed.”

“This may mean that rather than sharing what's going on for them when they're older, they may distract themselves with work, drink, drugs or exercise rather than express something that was previously considered undesirable.”

Stefan adds: “Depression can sometimes also present as a loss of interest in usual activities or changes in coping behaviour.”

Changes in alcohol or substance use

Depression can also be masked by unhealthy coping strategies, says Stefan:

“Warning signs can include loss of interest in hobbies or passions, working excessively, increased alcohol or substance use, changes in sleep patterns, physical complaints, and feelings of failure or worthlessness.”

Loss of interest

“Depression does not always present as an emotional problem,” says Stefan.

“Physical complaints, changes in sleep patterns and losing interest in hobbies or passions can all be signs that something is wrong.”

Hilda says that many men struggle to identify what they’re feeling:

“Often men I'm working with cannot even identify what they're feeling or why they're feeling it. Sometimes it requires quite a bit of detective work to try and trace back what has happened to leave them feeling a certain way.”

Behaviour can be a form of communication

Rahi stresses the importance of looking beneath the surface of behavioural changes:

 “It’s important to understand that those behaviours are acting as a form of communication.

“We need to be curious and want to understand why this may be happening and what could be happening underneath their behaviours,” he adds.

Hilda agrees:

“Emotional distress in men is not always expressed directly and may instead be communicated through behaviour or withdrawal.”

How to support someone you're worried about

Stefan says simple, non-judgemental conversations can make a difference:

“Friends and family can help by asking open-ended, curious questions, free of judgement, just to check in.

Simple comments such as ‘I've noticed you don't seem like yourself lately’, ‘You seem to be dealing with a lot’ or ‘I'm here if you want to talk’ can be a helpful way to start conversations and show that support is available.”

Hilda suggests creating opportunities for conversation that feel less pressured:

“Side by side activities can feel less threatening than a sit-down talk. Going for a run together or even playing a computer game side by side, could allow a more relaxed space to have potentially a deeper conversation.”

“While women generally are used to talking about feelings and are comfortable in that mode, men can feel cornered so creating an environment where they feel relaxed and safe in which to share what's going on is very important.”

Rahi agrees:

“Should your friend, family or loved one be going through depression or you’re worried about them then I’d advise offering to listen to them to understand what’s happening.

“The ability to share without judgement and having a safe space will benefit them hugely as they look to try and open up about what they are going through.

“You may experience reluctance and resistance in them opening up and seeking help and this is also normal.”

“I would advise patience and giving reassurance that you’re there to walk alongside them and offer support, however that looks,” he adds.

Seeking support from a therapist

Speaking to a registered therapist can provide a safe, confidential space to explore what is going on and begin to make sense of difficult thoughts and feelings.

Therapists are trained to recognise the signs of depression, including those that may not always be obvious, and can support people to develop ways of managing emotional distress.

To find a trained and registered therapist who can help, please visit BACP’s Therapist Directory.

References

1 About our Public Perceptions Survey

Since 2019, BACP has conducted an annual survey to measure the opinions and attitudes of the British public towards mental health.  

The survey data was collected using a self-complete, online methodology. A nationally representative sample of 5,058 adults (aged 16+) was taken from YouGov’s online research panel and results were weighted to provide a nationally representative dataset. Fieldwork for the 2026 survey was conducted between the 16th February and 6th March 2026 and is in line with fieldwork dates from previous years.