Therapists are seeing a clear rise in people choosing to reduce or stop drinking alcohol - not necessarily because they have a problem with it, but because they are questioning alcohol’s role in their wellbeing. With the party season behind us, four members share why the New Year can be a helpful time to reflect on drinking habits, and how to navigate social situations without alcohol.

A growing trend

“I’m seeing a marked increase in my practice of people abstaining from alcohol,” shares accredited therapist Andrew Harvey. “Their reasons range from its lack of positive contribution to their lives to its potential to cause harm - to both themselves and others.”

Senior accredited therapist Debbie Keenan also says she is noticing a growing trend in people abstaining from alcohol as clients say they want to feel more like themselves: “People are more aware of how alcohol affects their sleep, mood and overall wellbeing. Clients report better sleep, reduced anxiety and clearer thinking without alcohol in their lives.”

Accredited therapist Brieanne Doyle adds she’s regularly seeing clients who are curious about going sober and considering how to reduce their drinking. She says: “Many ultimately choose to reduce rather than eliminate alcohol from their lives - this is often sustainable.”

A cultural shift

Lorraine Collins, who is also an accredited therapist, highlights that she’s seeing a wider cultural shift with people’s relationship to alcohol: “More people are experimenting with being “sober-curious” and realising they don’t actually enjoy alcohol as much as they were taught to. The New Year is a perfect opportunity to considering pausing or reducing their alcohol intake as it gives an opportunity to 'staircase' up to a new habit. There are lots of online support groups too!”

The emotional challenges of not drinking

Our therapists agree that, for a lot of people, social situations can feel daunting without alcohol. One of the biggest challenges of saying ‘no’ to alcohol is the fear of judgement.

“One of the most significant hurdles is the fear of judgment from others,” explains Andrew. “Many worry about how friends, family, or colleagues might perceive their decision to abstain.”

Debbie adds that without alcohol, people also fear they won’t fit in or feel as confident socially. Lorraine describes this as a sense of exposure: “Without alcohol, we’re suddenly more in touch with social anxiety and old beliefs like ‘I’m only fun or likeable when I drink.’”

“I feel boring without alcohol”

Feeling ‘not enough’ or boring without alcohol is a common issue that’s raised in the therapy rooms of people are considering abstaining.

Andrew’s advice for this is to “remember, you’re not dull - you’re rediscovering yourself. Alcohol often borrows confidence and charisma from the future.” What follows, he says, is often “genuine humour, deeper conversations, and authentic connections.”

What to say if you’re asked why you’re not drinking

All four of our members agree that you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you’re not drinking.

“You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you put in your body,” asserts Lorraine. “‘No thanks’ is a complete sentence.”

Andrew notes that over-explaining is a common mistake that many people make and says that “brief answers often halt conversations quicker than lengthy explanations.”

Our therapists recommend keeping responses simple and low-pressure, such as:

  • “I’m not drinking at the moment.”
  • “I feel better without it.”
  • “I’m focusing on my health.”
  • “It stopped working for me.”

Brieanne also suggests tentative phrasing can help ease social tension: “‘I’m not drinking tonight’ doesn’t commit you to a lifetime decision and tends to be perceived less judgementally.”

When others feel awkward about your choice

Our therapists say that it’s common for friends to react defensively when they hear you’re not drinking, however it’s important to stress that it’s often not personal.

“Most of the time it’s not about you,” explains Andrew. It can reflect “their own insecurities or fears that the relationship dynamic will change.”

Debbie adds that some people miss having “a drinking buddy,” but reassurance usually comes when they see you’re still the same person.

A choice that supports wellbeing

Choosing not to drink doesn’t have to be a lifelong declaration.

“Sobriety doesn’t have to be an identity or a label,” says Andrew. “It can simply be a choice that supports who you are becoming.”

Brie adds: “If you do feel you need to totally give up alcohol it’s best to do with the support of others, be in contact with your GP and/or find the support of a therapist experienced in working with alcohol reduction.”

To find a therapist who specialises in alcohol reduction and / or sobriety, visit our therapists directory.