Initially I found the lockdown to be pretty divisive. Those that were natural introverts appeared to be taking to isolation like ducks to water, enjoying time by themselves and finding plenty to occupy their time, those that were extroverts were struggling and missing the hum of others around them.

I naturally fall into the introvert category and am never happier than when I have peace and quiet to be able to read, write, clean, cook or just think. The first few weeks of isolation did not really feel much different for me, life carried on and about 75% of my face to face clients were happy to continue therapy either by phone or video sessions. (The remaining 25% preferred to wait until restrictions had been lifted and they could return to face to face sessions).

As we approach week six of lockdown my joy of being by self is rapidly waning. I now feel sluggish and lethargic most days. My concentration has dipped making it hard to devour the pile of books on my to read list. I no longer relish an expanse of time thinking what I can do to fill it, I approach it with a slight dread and inevitably will turn to a gardening or home renovation show on TV to numb me.

Feeling less alive generally has created a challenge, in terms of how I show up for my clients. I now have to bolster myself up before a session, something I never had to do before. I still feel that I can be fully present and engaged with clients. My being in this lockdown and affected by coronavirus means I am not an impartial bystander as I am in it too. Writing this reflection has given me the opportunity to be honest about the struggle.